Why Teens Find Surfing the ‘Net so Enticing and Why You Need to Understand the Dangers
By Lisa K. Schkloven, LCSW-C

Today surfing is easy, whether your teen is near the waves or not. “Surfing” has taken on a new meaning, thanks to the internet. Because of the internet, the “community” of the 21st Century is not confined by geographical constraints. We now live in a virtual community without geographical boundaries. In a matter of moments, your teen can research information for term papers, read the latest news around the world, send mail instantly and connect with people from all over the world.

This new age community also allows teens to do many things in ways they never could before. Teens can use the internet to try on different personas as they work through the developmental task of formulating a defined sense of self. The internet allows teens to engage in social dialogue that their parents cannot overhear. Whereas parents can overhear when a teen is on the phone,parents can only “hear” what is being said online if they stand behind their teens and read over their shoulders. And to make sure parents don’t know what they are saying, teens have invented a whole new language that they use when texting, IMing, chatting, blogging or posting to a newsgroup.

Teens also use the internet to take risks they may not otherwise take. Teens consider themselves anonymous when using the internet, due to the decreased level of physical contact with others that occurs while on the computer. This sense of anonymity allows teens to feel a false sense of security, allowing them to feel freer to engage in risk taking behavior online. The lack of physical contact between people connected in cyber-space allows for a certain amount of depersonalization of others as well. This depersonalization allows teens to engage in behaviors that bully, threaten to harm or actually harm the safety, sense of security and reputation of other people. Cyber-bullying has taken on astronomical proportions as teens have increasingly used the internet.

There is another dimension to the information superhighway that may keep you up at night. Whereas it was once thought that by adolescence a teen’s brain was fully developed, research has now discovered that the teenage brain is actually a work in progress.

Because the teenage brain works more on emotion than on rational thinking, it is difficult for adolescents to understand some of the ramifications of their behavior on the internet. Teens do not realize that being online in any kind of public forum means a teen is “out in public”. It’s analogous to having something written on the bathroom wall. Anything a teen posts online is available for anyone to read for all eternity.

Teens are also unaware of the potential dangers of posting identifying or personal information. Just as teens can try on different identities or personas while online, so can the people with whom they are connecting. Even if your teenager thinks the information he or she is posting online is private, anyone can read it and anyone can pass it on. It has gotten to the point that now many colleges and potential employers are searching popular internet sites or “googling” potential applicants’ names to learn about them.

According to Parry Aftab, noted cyber-lawyer and Executive Director of WiredSaftey.org, “The problems result from the conflicts between raging hormones and romanticism, and being smart and careful. They often think ‘This couldn’t happen to me’ and take unnecessary risks, gambling that their luck will hold.”

So what’s a parent to do to ensure a teen’s safety on the internet? Click to find out.